My Extracurriculars

Larceny
Forgery
Baking
Assault and Battery
Breaking and Entering
Knitting
Candlelit Pontificating
Arson
Stakeouts
Showers
Money Laundering
Coupon Clipping
Grand theft auto
Blindfolded origami

And most importantly, Et Cetera!

I have also been the recipient of many prestigious awards over the years, including:

Congressional Medal of Honor
Purple Heart
Racing Stripes
Breakout Jazz Artist of the Year
Multiplatinum Album Sales
The Ellie Button
Valedictorian
Salutatorian
Best Dressed-Pennsylvania State Penitentiary 2004
New Zealand's Next Top Model

Countless more I can't explain...