The following section presents excerpts from a proposal on Edocs, an online environment for collaborating, created by a research team in Qatar. One of the team members believes Edocs facilitates collaboration among professional groups working from different countries. However, their clients (Qatar Foundation researchers) did not find the proposal confident or convincing enough. In the challenges that follow, try to consider the options presented so that the developers can make the most effective case for their audience.

Directions:
Identify and improve text that can make the report more effective, in terms of its metadiscourse, nominalizations, and concision.

Challenge 2: Avoiding Nominalizations

Your Goal

Avoid nominalizations to make the tone more certain and direct

Avoiding Nominalizations

1. Not protecting the person or thing associated with the negativity in negative situations

More Protection

Let us know if there are issues with the activity’s usability.

Less Protection

Let us know if the activities are not working properly.

2. Being certain or direct or showing emphasis

Less Certain

In this activity, your goal is to sound more direct.

More Certain

In this activity, you aim to sound more direct.

Less Emphasis

It did not take a lot of time for one student to get through the activities.

More Emphasis

One student went through the activities quickly.

Comments on Response Options

Problem Text

Teams typically collaborate over email differently from meetings in person: their communication includes exchanges of tasks over email, whereas in meetings, they can look at the same task in real time.

Option A

"they communicate by exchanging tasks over email"

"This option most directly shows and places the most emphasis on the team’s actions."

Option B

"their communication includes exchanging tasks over email"

"This option does not directly show the team’s actions and thereore places less emphasis on them. This would work better if your purpose is not making an argument for the team’s actions."

Option C

"their communication includes their email exchanges"

This option also does not direct show the team’s actions and places the least amount of emphasis on them. This would also work well if your purpose is not making an argument for the team’s actions.