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Mr. Hall Quotes:
Below you will find a compilation of quotations from the incomparable Mr. Hall, math teacher extraordinaire and one of the funniest human beings ever to walk the halls of the Altoona Area High School (or any other high school, for that matter).

The following quotes are from Mr. Hall's trigonometry/pre-calculus class (2001-2002) and AP calculus class (2002-2003).

-John: Thank you, Mr. Hall.
Mr. Hall: You're welcome, Mr. John. (1/29/02)

-Seth, try to act like you're at least... seven. (1/30/02)

-A parabola, it's like... limitless... boundless... wide.

-Matt: Isn't the sin of 90°, 180°, 270°, and 360° all the same as the sin of 0°?
Mr. Hall: Today is Wednesday, right? No, no... it can't be that on Wednesday.

-Matt: What is that graph there telling us?
Mr. Hall: Not much.

-Student: What's one times "that?"
Mr. Hall (after no answer): "THAT!"

-Meredith: What's your favorite kind of math?
Mr. Hall: Oh, I hate math.

-Seth, put the quotes away.

-Meredith: What if your sketch isn't right?
Mr. Hall: It can't be!

-(After demonstrating something on the board, Mr. Hall to foreign exchange student from Germany) That's a little known secret. You can't take that out of the country or we'll have to shoot 'ya.

-It's really just a matter of plug-n-chug. (2/1/02)

-Meredith: Why is it a squiggle? (referring to alpha)
Mr. Hall (to Meredith): Do you have something against the Greeks?

-Do you want me to shoot you? It's been awhile since I've shoot anyone... so look out! (2/6/02)

-Matt: Can we make sure everybody knows this before we go on?
Mr. Hall: No. (2/11/02)

-I shot the last person that asked that question! (2/11/02)

-John, if you don't turn around, I'm going to strap you to the wall.

-Matt: What is "x?"
Mr. Hall: The 23rd letter of the alphabet. (2/25/02)

-Now we could use geometry to prove that, but I forget how.

-Do you like that Robert?... I don't care. (4/9/02)

-There you go... and I won't even charge extra.

-Alison: I got a completely different answer!
Mr. Hall: Well, you're probably really wrong then, because the one on the board is really right. (4/11/02)

-People are usually partial to the cosine, you know.

-Pay close attention, because this could be Chris's first and last time at the board. (9/18/02)

-Luke: Maybe your calculator has a virus.
Mr. Hall: Yeah, maybe it got that West Nile thing that's been going around.

-I don't know what that was before, but it definitely wasn't American!

-This is the anti-gravity seagull! (10/14/02)

-Chris: Wait, back up a second.
Mr. Hall (walks backward): Is this better?

-Have any of you ever been to a supermarket? (10/30/02)

-Can anyone give me the name of a supermarket?

-We better move the paper, because infinitely fast is liable to blow the paper away. (11/4/02)

-Jim: Can you do 4 m/s in slow motion?
Mr. Hall: That's the dumbest thing that I've ever heard.

-Don't say friction! That's an answer that physics teachers say when they don't have a clue what the answer is.

-It broke the sound barrier. Did you hear that, Chris? (as Chris sleeps at his desk)

-I was on a derivative roll there... I just didn't quit! (11/5/02)

-Just be glad you guys aren't in algebra III doing asymptotes.

-If you guys are good, I'll let you watch The Weather Channel.

-Student: How can this help you?
Mr. Hall: Well, you can do problems like number two.

The following quotes have been contributed by Jason Mickel and also can be found on his web-site.

-Preparation is the secret of life.

-If you memorize these rules, you'll be able to graph anything under the sun.

-It isn't the correct graph, but these are the neatest hash marks I have ever seen.

-That's how the game is played... break 'em up and add 'em.

-Mr. Ant just gets a suntan, not fried.

-I want you to try these in your seats.

-You have a real problem in this problem.

-Put a hole in it.

-It's zeroing in on zero.

-grains of sand you can put on one finger or two. (visual aid)

-Did I say that? Did I? Oh, oh, oh, yeah! I said that. Sorry.

-There are 4 ways to write a proportion, so you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right. -Sherri Nicewonger

-Yeah, that's a lady. But, hey, now what is she doing under a street light?

-I never did like algebra, but I still teach it.

-It just undoes it.

-Voila!!

-Oops. I missed it.

-If you liked that, you better hold on to your seats. Don't blink. Don't move. Don't breathe.

-When all else fails, read the instructions.

-Why that was so much fun, let's try another.

-Even the village idiot could figure out what "X" equals.

-Take the "X" over...make life a little easier.

-(After writing on chalkboard) The secret of life is right here!!

-That's what happens when you try to sneeze and cough at the same time.

-If you don't understand now, you myswell go home until Thanksgiving.

-He will be our log expert. You might as well go into the lumber business.

-Someone's ten has some helium in it. It started to float away. (referring to log when it should have been log)

-You've just about seen every equation under the Sun.

-Here, I'll give you some problems. No sense in me having all the fun.

-Anyone who misses a base problem should be knocked in the head and shot at dawn.

-3 to the almost 4th will be almost 81.

-Every blessed thing...except one thing.

-The importance of synthetic division is almost like the invasion of Pearl Harbor.

-You gotta be dead not to get that.

-Hold on to your hats...now I'm goin' show you how to multiply.

-Everyday, Brian's back their givin' you zingers, Bridget.

-The Pythagorean Theorem...that should be comin' out your ears.

-Might have to spit on that.

-Tammy has the square roots workin' today.

-They add up to 360, but that doesn't mean squat!

-Remember Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood? We're going to pretend. I'll put my sneakers on later.

-Believe it or not, I am organized.

-There's going to be a fire drill in 5 minutes. You guys can stay here, otherwise the test would be null. I thought I would let you burn this time.

-One feet per second.

-This is quite a bit easier when you don't have to change nuthin'.

-Here we are, standing on the Earth moving at 994 MPH. That would be one heck of a wind.

-There is a whole bunch of inches per mile.

-It goes around a whole bunch of McDonald's.

-The wheel is going as fast as the road.

-Your feet cancel!!

-You're going to be loster.

-Class: Why are we doing this?!!
Mr. Hall: Something to do on a rainy day.

-Well, I'd be out on the street if you guys didn't learn this.

-Health is a good class. But, all you need to know is how to brush your teeth at night and to go to the bathroom when you get up.

-You divided by "r"... that's not nice.

-That was fast, but infinitely fast is REAL fast! I mean a billion, trillion, zillion, miles per hour!

-Why did you guys ever take calculus?

-Page two... fifty... whatever-it-is.

-m=5x is like really steep.

-It's like distributive or something.
-Mr. Hall: Tammy, are you raising your hand?
Tammy: No, I'm just stretching.
Mr. Hall: Well stop it.

-He's always right. He's Mr. Hall. -Anonymous

-Infinity is like really big. (9/3/92)

-We did all that for nuthin', but we sure had alot of fun. (11/4/92)

-Oh look. It's the Math 1 parade. Let's pause for a moment of silence. (12/5/92)

-It's like a soup can, except without the top, without the bottom, and without the soup inside. (1/6/93)

-It's like a donut, but without the hole, and it's cut in half and it's on its side. (1/6/93)

-I don't have time to draw an infinite number. (1/6/93)

-We're talking an infinite roll of toilet paper. (1/6/93)

-Children, let's not worry about Pac-Man. (1/7/93)

-It's like commutative or something. (1/7/93)

-That's like asking 'How do you know it's not Wednesday?' (1/7/93)

-Kevin, get in your seat and shut up. (1/7/93)

-Well get your reclining brain in gear and start your work! (1/7/93)

-Don't become an engineer unless you're going to drive a train. (1/7/93)

-Oh geez...where am I at? (1/8/93)

-Whether you understand it or not, just take my word for it, then you'll be OK...most of the time. (1/8/93)

-It would be the last in an infinite number of shells. (1/11/93)

-All you can do is shut up! (1/13/93)

-These problems suck, man! (1/13/93) -Pat Fanelli

-You can sleep soundly now knowing for sure that the circumference of a circle is 2r.

-Remember way back yesterday? (1/14/93)

-There's only two equations in calculus. Well, I shouldn't say that because there are a whole bunch for integrating. But besides those, there are only...yeah, there's only two. (1/14/93)

-If it were 40x2 or 40x3 or 40x3/2 or 40x to the anything, you have to integrate. (1/14/93)

-What are you chirpin' about back there, Tammy? (1/14/93)

-(Mr. H) Are you guys done back there? (Kevin/Pat) Yes. (Mr. H) Good. I won't have to throw anyone out today. (1/19/93)

-You guys mean you like "commie-pinko" music? (after students sang "It's Alright with Me") (1/19/93)

-Stay tuned for this if you thought that was good. (1/19/93)

-I was so bright, my father called me son. (1/20/93)

-I'm totally lost, but it works. (1/20/93)

-*******SAKE IN YOU FACE!!!******* (1/21/93)

-Kevin: Bye, Mr. Hall.
Mr. Hall: Ten-four. (1/27/93)

-I'm not much of a bomb squad. (1/28/93)

-Good...I don't care. (after Kevin named e to 10 digits) (1/29/93)

-Sí, señorita. (to Jason) (1/29/93)

-Julie: How do you know that?
Mr. Hall: Cause I'm right! (1/29/93)

-That's a natural log problem, and that's just that. (1/29/93)

-Kevin: Mr. Hall, you got four good quotes today.
Mr. Hall: Thanks. That'll make my weekend.
Pat: Now it's five. (1/29/93)

-Kevin: Why are there four people in the math office 6th period? Pat and I have to do it alone.
Mr. Hall: Well, you're just worth four people. Well, at least 3 ½. (1/29/93)

-"e" to the natural log of something is the something. (2/4/93)

-See, you understood it, so quit your laughing. (2/4/93)

-Kevin: Why do you use the natural log there?
Mr. Hall: Darned if I know. (2/8/93)

-Must've been the chicken nuggets I ate! (2/8/93)

-The answer is eight. Yeah, ocho. (2/11/93)

-Dave, nice of you to show up today. (2/11/93) -Mr. Betar

-We don't have a curriculum. Don't worry about it. (2/18/93)

-It takes every ounce of my being to refrain from loud, uncontrollable laughter. (2/22/93) -Pat Fanelli, after straining mightily to figure out why Mr. Betar is principal

-I've been confused for the last ten minutes. (2/22/93)

-The great thing is that you can do it even if you don't have any parts. (2/23/93)

-We never did find out what the integral of this is, so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! (2/24/93)

-Julie, I don't even know what planet you're on!! (2/25/93)

-I have to play poker tomorrow. I can't go to [Man of La Mancha]. I'll miss my son's basketball game, but I won't miss the card game. (2/25/93)

-If I don't win, I'll cheat. (2/26/93) (referring to the poker game)

-Mr. Hall: We did it last period.
Tammy: We weren't here last period.
Kevin: She does have a point.
Mr. Hall: Yeah, right between her shoulders. (3/1/93)

-2e, that's one of Donald Duck's nephews. You know... Huey, Dewey, and 2e. (3/1/93)

-You can work together on these. Move your desks together, stand on your head, whatever it takes. (3/2/93)

-Is there a little magical fairy in here that keeps skipping me? (3/2/93) -Kevin Shock

-I'm ready for you today, Kevin, if you start mouthing off. (pulling masking tape from his desk) (3/9/93)

-You may ask, "What's that got to do with calculus?" (3/9/93)

-See, a good teacher would be prepared, but I figured, "What the heck." And a good teacher would've blown this up and put it on an overhead, but I'm not going to waste my time. (3/9/93)

-..............duhh............... (3/9/93)

-(Kevin) I have a question. (Mr. H) No, no, shut up. (3/9/93)

-It's like trying to paint the ceiling with a hole in the roof. (3/11/93)

-Today is Pat's felice cucumbers (feliz cumpleaños). (3/11/93)

-Tammy: Are you serious?
Mr. H: No. Actually, I'm Mr. Hall. (3/25/93)

-Kevin: How did you do on your high school AP National Exam for calculus?
Mr. Hall: I didn't miss any... I didn't take calculus. They didn't start that until after the Civil War. (3/30/93)

-The [AP Exams] were harder in the '70s. They had messy, goofy, crazy, off-the-wall stuff then. (3/30/93)

-I just like to smell this stuff. (about his markers) (3/30/93)

-She accused me a making a rectangle, and actually, it was a tuna fish can. (3/30/93)

-Mr. Hall: #14...D
Sherri: D?
Mr. Hall: Yes. D as in deaf. (4/17/93)

-Every year the Honor Society sells M&Ms for a fund raiser. $5 goes toward the trip, and I use the other $10 for my summer trip to Mexico. (4/17/93)

-(cough, cough) Sorry. Sloppy joes. (4/26/93)

-Why is it called a hurricane and not a heicane? (5/3/93)

-Kevin: (about Mr. Hall's sunburned head) Mr. Hall, how does your head feel?
Mr. Hall: Round. (5/3/93)

-October 31st...is that always Halloween? (5/4/93)

-Kevin, sit over there on the milking stool. In case a cow runs by, you'll be ready. (5/5/93)

-Mr. Hall: Anybody want to rent one of these [calculators]?
Mr. Betar: Dave, this isn't funny. (5/12/93) (AP Calc Exam)

-Seal your Section 1 booklet with your white sticky labels. I think they're called "seals." (5/12/93) (AP Calc Exam) -Mr. Young

-I killed everybody in the world. I should be in first place. (5/13/93)

-Come on, Kevin. I want to kill you before the bell rings. (5/14/93)

The following quotes have been found in the dark depths of Sherri's house. The dates are unknown, but they are still classic.

-Kevin: "Where did that slice come from?" Mr. Hall: "What?! That's like asking the meaning of life."

-The solution is too far out to lunch.

-Some of you that are rich might have on an Omega watch or stole it.

-We're going to skip 5-8. I never really knew how to do them anyway.

-I can tell you guys anything. You wouldn't know the difference anyhow.

-Gravity pulls China stuff to the middle.

-Bud, do you and Jason want to take two erasers and clean the board? (Who was Bud?)

-Tammy, you moron!

-Look at them backwards, turn the card around, look in the mirror, I don't know.

-Doing logs is like followin' a recipe to make a cake.

-Student: "Who made up this stuff?"
Mr. Hall: "I don't know. Harry Calculus. They named the course after him."

-The manure is getting very deep. I'll have to wear my waders tomorrow.

-When does the rabbit population be the biggest?

-You're a big boy now. You have to do the messy problems.

-Here's what I have after the smoke has cleared.

-That is a small reservoir, or a big one with not much in it.

-It's not the vacation. It's the car ride.

-Where did all the colored chalk go? Oh, someone must have ate it. It does look pretty good.

-Creamy curves, that's what I'm lookin' for.

-We could just eyeball it, but then we wouldn't need calculus. Then I would be out of a job. I guess we shouldn't do that.

-If someone hit you in the rear, that is, the derivative of acceleration.

-That's out the window, folks.

-If I knew the answer, I wouldn't ask you guys [how to do the problem].

-If it gets too messy, we'll just quit.

-Two of the easiest derivatives under the sun.

-Hate to waste a good problem.

-Mark [Grimm], you're goin' be shot at dawn.

-You'll get your money's worth on that one.

-You can't fool me. You guys are TRIGsters.

-Write it on the back of your hand, and don't wash it till May.

-I don't have enough time this afternoon to draw an infinite number of rectangles, so I'll draw four.

-5 + 1 = 7

-Might have to brush up on your integration just a hair.

Here are a few more recent ones contributed by Mike Acker.

-Forever is pretty long.

-Of course the ladder can fall infinitely fast.

-Disks and shells can be dx or dy, but all lead back to dhall.

-Of all the many numbers in the world, this one just happens to be "e."

-It takes a big man to admit he's wrong, but it takes an even bigger man to make fun of that man.

-Student: I hate simplification.
Mr. Hall: Me, too.
Student: Mr. Hall, I think you should make the test.
Mr. Hall: Oh, I agree (sipping his coffee)

-It matters not what we do on Friday, for we shall review Monday.