Headlines (Page Nine)

Page Nine:

Here's Tulsa Area Real Estate News... "ERA John Hausam, Realtors, announces Mai Vang is its newest residential sales specialist... 'Kuv zoo siab yuav pab koj nrhiav kom tau lub tsev uas txim koj siab, losis, pab koj muag koj lub tsev. Hu tau rau kuv thiab kuv yuav pab koj,' said Vang." I guess Tulsa has a diverse population!

Here 'Tonya Mills tees off at Gator Golf while playing with her daughter, Katlyn, age 9..."

Here's the police beat... I love this guy... "An Edgewood man reported recently that his wife had gone missing... some 18 months ago." I guess the dishes must have been piling up. Honey? Honey?! HONEY?!

Whoa, this sounds like a lot of work... "Puerto Rican teen named mistress of the universe."

These are bond jumpers. These are people out of jail who've jumped bail. Look at the first guy... This guy has a $10,000 reward out on him. The next one has a $500 reward on him. The next guy -- a $2500 reward. But I love the guy at the end... He's got a $3.50 reward on his head!

What are some famous quotes?... "Ask not what your country can do for you..." etcetera. Well, here's a quote from Representative Pat Murphy... "It's time to put our blood or our urine where our mouth is."

This is a bad name... Granny Joe's Ice Creamatorium!

This is interesting... It's from this thing giving statistics on the New York Yankees. Apparently, somebody was using a facts checker and when they typed in the word "black" the fact checker corrected it to "African American." So you can't say black anymore -- no matter what it is, it's African American now.

Why would you take this ad out?! What are the chances of finding this person?! "Will the person who got hit in the head with a tomato in the 1950's please contact..."

"Will our city survive urban sprawl? Elect Joyce High." Good looking woman that Joyce is. Sometimes something as simple as a new hairstyle can give you a whole new look!

I've always wondered about Burger King... "We Don't Just Serve Hamburgers, we serve people." It's PEOPLE THEY'RE SERVING!!!!

This is obviously a doctored photo... "Tummy Tuck by Barsky" -- Before and After... Look at before... Who has a stomach that looks like that?! What is she, part Shar Pei?!

"France To Send 2,000 Troops Into Lebanon." And what a fierce fighting force they look like!

This is the "Question of the Day"... Of all the questions that go on on a daily basis this is the question they chose... "What constitutes a millionaire?" Well, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons... "A millionaire is someone who has $1 million." Of course, the next question is... "What's a billionaire?"

This is a bad slogan. This is for Green Mill Restaurant and Bar. "Order anything from our menu and we'll step on it!" Doesn't sound very appetizing!

Here's something responsible... "Enjoy the drive..." While having five bottles of wine!

I like this one... It's The Burden Center for the Aging.

Legoland, California. Get two free tickets to Legoland for the first 20 customers with any purchase. Not valid at Legoland.

"Have fun around the campfire. Participants will explore the outdoors and enjoy campfire songs, s'more snacks and stories around the campfire. Due to the current fire ban, there may not be an actual fire." So you're just sitting in a parking lot basically. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Here's a Fisher-Price Neck Support infant accessory. That neck support looks a little too tight to me, I think.

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