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Page Three:
"Students cook & serve grandparents." AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!
Here's a frightful
headline... "Cemetery residents making a comeback."
"So far, they
have determined that the crash occurred when the plane struck the ground."
Waterford boy, 8, saves sister's life by using the Heimlich Maneuver. Look at
his quote... "I wouldn't do it again. She's been a pain this week."
"Genetal Tso's Chicken."
Here's the amazing smashing wig sale. "A beautiful blend of Human and European
hair." How self-righteous are we?!!
You know, I don't know what is going to kill her first, the french fries or
the bag over her head!
"We took a young woman with severe memory loss and helped her forget she
ever had it." I don't want to be insensitive, but is that hard to do?
I don't even know what this is... "Frigidaire 60-Pint Portable Dehumanizer!!"
AGHHHhhhhhhh!
"We do tailoring, mammograms and shoe repair." Hey, while you're
getting your mammogram, put your foot up here -- I want to look at that heel!
If you've seen that man, please call the authorities. I believe his name is
Mr. Potato Head.
Here's "Camp Magic, the place for kids." That's their slogan -- "the
place for kids." This is for their grand opening party. Look at the last
line... Yeah, but "no children please." Keep those little bastards
out of here!
Here's an example of the Separation of Church and State right here... "Ten
Commandments -- Supreme Court says some OK, some not."
Carport cover. I don't think the guy who made this ad understood the definition
of a carport. Look... The car does not go on top of the carport!
11 Days, 8 nights! Oh, okay...
It says, "Better hearing... Better life." Why is there a giant rat
[sic] in the ad?! What does hearing have to do with a giant rat [sic]?!
It doesn't make any sense!
Here's your Commander-In-Chief inspecting the troops... You might want to take
the cover off the binoculars first.
Okay, this is a German Easter Bunny. I don't know anything about the German
culture, but apparently, they like their Easter Bunny with huge boobs! I don't
know why you would do that...
A Minneapolis gym class is now offered online! That's the stupidest thing I've
ever heard of!!!
"Police responded to a report that two dogs (were) running along loose
and attacking ducks at about 11:20 a.m. Sunday. The officer cited a resident
for the loose dogs. The ducks refused medical treatment and left the area."