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I'll let you read the translation of the directions... You'll want to follow those!

I don't understand this... "Where quality is not expensive. Student band instruments." Why does this guy have his pants down? What does that have to do with...? Is that some kind of musician thing?!

Here's a poorly-worded sentence... Free arthritis seminar... "Now when I walk I set a faster pace than my wife. I got rid of the misery." She's way back there!

"'I plugged his gaps,' he said. 'I took some Bounty (paper towels), the quicker picker-upper, and applied some pressure to his wounds.'" When you're bleeding to death, the quicker picker-upper is the way to go!!!

Look, a BLT for $1.85, but lettuce and tomatoes are $.10 extra. WHAT?! You're just getting a "B" sandwich and you're having to pay extra for the "L"and "T!" That is false advertising! That is nothing but a "B" sandwich with options!

"Come discover the wildlife in Northern Wisconsin."

Oscar Mayer Bilingual Turkey Franks!

This is from the police log of the Sonora police department... "A man came to the Sheriff's Department to 'find out how to legally kill' a person who was harassing him." I don't want to break any laws or anything...

"Obituaries are now in the D section. The D section is now called Life."

Here are the assembly instructions...

Here's your government at work... "No benefits for ill man. Agency says terminal illness not severe enough."

He's not quite as sure where his heart is as the other people...

"This is an artist's conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights." It's an artist's conception of what darkness would look like!

Here's a couple of geniuses... "Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum."

"Victor Aslshog, Wildwood might get second girlfriend treat her kind honest. One woman man three bedrooms. Home clean record don't want girlfriend. Don't want visit, don't phone, and don't go out with each other."

"If you could create a gadget, what would you create?" Look at what Stephanie says... I would create "a way to pay for something without using money. Like a card-type thing." And next maybe you can create luggage with wheels on it that you can pull.

"See the dumpster get emptied on Thursdays." What does that mean?

Look at this... Lysol -- "No other brand has more germ killing power." If you're letting your kid float boats in the toilet then... that's just bad! Can we get Social Services over to that house?!

"10% satisfaction guaranteed." Oh, please, don't go out of your way!

This is some kind of Chinese Power Ranger toy. See, on one side it's in Chinese and on the other it's in English. They wanted to tap into the English-speaking market, but they didn't get the translation quite right. Look at their slogan... "Get ready to crumble obscure!"

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