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24 Hour Animal and Pest Control. Look at all the animals and pests you've got!
How many baby traps do you put out a day?
Hey, here's a deal!
"Tombstone: Standard gray, a good buy for someone named Grady."
"County to
pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds." Look, we want people to know
we don't have any money!!
Good luck with this! "Volunteers search for old Civil War planes."
Lemme know how that works out, okay?
"Gentle eye remover." Ow!!!
Wow! That's going to be a healthy baby!
"Look ravished for the prom." I think you want to look ravishing,
don't you? You look like you've been ravished!
"Learn as you learned the Spanish and I gave in English everything what
you mean."
"Lobbyists offer legislators cash at ethics session." It says right
here, "Although it's illegal for the legislature to accept campaign money
during the regular season, ironically, through a loophole, they can accept money
during special ethics sessions." There's your government at work!
"Prisoner serving 2,000-year sentence could face more jail time."
Ooooooo, ooooooooo! I'm scared! What?! Another 4 years?!!! I can handle it!
"Army vehicle disappears. An Australian Army vehicle worth $74,000 has
gone missing after being painted with camouflage."
"Do not use this product for any purpose." We're protecting ourselves
legally for any possibilities.
"Dispatch, report of Swanson chicken pot-pie running east on Clay Street."
I like the fact that they identified it as a Swanson chicken pot-pie
and not just any run-of-the-mill pot-pie.
"Meeting on open meetings is closed."
"Wish you were here! Olean General Hospital." Oh, thanks a lot!!!
"DOE to do NEPA's EIS on BNFL's AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protest."
SHUT UP! What does that mean?!!
I like this antique shop. Look at the photo... Interesting mirror... The woman
has different clothes on in the mirror! How frightening is that?!
"1:14 a.m. -- Caller reports hitting an intruder in the head with an axe. Notes
that intruder 'was in the mirror.'"
Here's Anastasia Alexander, a product manager at the Hewlett Packard Corporation,
singing "Jingle Bells" at their Christmas party. How stunned does the boss look?
Look at that guy in the background -- look at him...
If you're going to be a leg model, at least put the other foot forward!