October 7-13      issue # 1,000,009    
Featured Articles

Helper monkeys now available in CMU bookstore!

Hammerschlag encased in Kryptonite.

Editorial: Onion, Simpsons are stealers

Crime and Incident

Opinion Article


The Real Deal

[[ Food Review
[[ Movie Listings
[[ Music
[[ Uselessly True
[[ Letters to the Ed.
[[ Scary ... of the Week

[[ Interview w/Ralph Nader
[[ WRCT radio schedule


What's going on?
Events Listing

TOP STORIES

CMU Bookstore Sells Helper Monkeys for Chronically Lazy

   Where are you going to be on Monday, October 9th at 3:00pm? As I write, the Carnegie Mellon University bookstore is stocking their shelves with a new product to help the school's Chronically Lazy (Chronchitis Lazitus) population.

read more...

Hamerschlag To Be Freed from Carbonite, Have Nose Job

     A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Hamerschlag angered the lords of CMU. He had committed the unspeakable crime of having both a dorm and an academic building named after him, thus making it impossible to tell one from the other. This infuriated the department of the Campus Master Plan, who kept having to draw maps where circles meant the academic buildings and diamonds meant the dorms, and hope that the minions of the campus didn't get confused.

read more...

 

[[ What is readme? ]]
[[ meet the people behind the madness ]]
[[ email the editor ]]

nifty website by daisy

2000